Leftovers

This started out as a Twitter feed and kind of grew out of that. Bear with me.

The subject: leftovers. Not the garage sale variety, the what-do-I-do-with-the-rest-of-this-roasted-chicken leftovers.

I don't claim to be an expert on leftover food, cooking or anything kitchen-related in general. This comes from my own experiences, trial and errors (so many, many errors) and generally just running full tilt whenever and wherever my cooking muse decided to strike.

Meats
I live with someone who, on occasion, has been known to all but cite chapter and verse of federal, state, and local regulations regarding food handling, preparation and storage. When it comes to meat, she goes into CDC overdrive; raw chicken may as well have come from Chernobyl. The two words that have been stamped into my denser-than-lead skull are: three days. After cooking meat of any kind, you've got 72 hours before it's eaten or frozen for later use. I'm sure many of us guys have consumed meat-like products old enough to be used as fire-starters, but I'm telling the rest of you: eat it, freeze it or toss it.

Big box (Costco, BJs, etc.) chickens are often fantastically cheap, tasty (just try not to notice the Olympic swimming pool of grease at the bottom) and are worth digging around the carcass with a knife or an educated finger or two. Spend some time peeling off the skin, deboning the meat from the legs, wings and undercarriage and you'll be rewarded with a sizable amount of chicken chunklets. This all but begs to be put into a casserole.

Burgers from your last Bobby Flay inspired cookout can be chopped up, re-seasoned with cumin and chili powder and dropped into tortillas for an awesome taco night. Pork works well in the same fashion, but needs to be reheated more carefully, otherwise you'll be gnawing on leather strips and spending the rest of the evening flossing out your chompers. I'd comment on fish, but that rarely last long enough in my house to become leftovers. Suffice it to say that any cook should find, master and tweak a tuna casserole recipe to their liking. Such a dish is often the butt of jokes and relegated to grade school cafeteria fare, but a well prepared one speaks volumes about how well you can turn a joke into a blessing.

Veggies
We prefer fresh when we can get them, but if you catch a sale, frozen vegetables are no less awesome or expensive. You can do a helluva lot with either one. Crack an egg over them, add a splash of milk and toss them into a frying pan. Instant omelet. Add them as fillers in casseroles or heat up some stock, toss them in with a few seasonings and you've got soup. Leftover noodles? Chop the veggies into bite size pieces and reheat the whole megillah in the microwave. Serve with tomato sauce or just a splash of olive oil and cracked pepper.

Rice
Rice is quickly becoming a favorite side dish in our house: dirt cheap, relatively simple to make and, if you lack any and all cooking talent, you can buy enough of it at a takeout restaurant with the change you find in your couch. If you make rice for a meal, double the amount you plan on eating. It keeps well in the fridge, makes an excellent filler in casseroles and can be turned into a cheapo version of rice pudding in a matter of minutes. A scoop of rice, some brown sugar or maple syrup, a handful of raisins, a splash of milk and a minute on high yields something far better than most pre-packaged treats and will fill you up for longer. Add some rice and a handful of vegetables to leftover broth and you have soup in less time than it takes to crack into a can of Campbell's.

Bread
Every culture has bread and almost every one of them knows something to do with leftover hunks of it. French toast. Bread pudding. Panzanella (bread salad). Croutons. Bagel chips. Fresh breadcrumbs. Google the hell out of this one.

Noodles
Much like bread, there isn't too much you can't do with these little buggers. My personal fave is to add them into a frattata and bake it in the oven. Thin noodles (spaghetti, angel hair, ramen, etc.) gets a delightful crunch on top that's hard to beat.

A Note on Takeout
If you lack the barest of cooking capabilities, you can always look to your local Asian takeout for leftover salvation. Unless you eat like a starved lumberjack, most places often provide more than ample portions of food with your order (at least around here this is the case). Most of it requires little more than a quick reheat in the microwave to enjoy it again, but don't let it stop you. Use up the leftover wonton broth, add the rice and those fried noodles, wing in some of that chicken or a cold dumpling or two. It's awesome in a bowl and stretches your dollar that much further.

Free Find

A lucky find in a free pile someone had put to the curb. Solid brass. Unlike most of my gets, I actually have a plan for this already.

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How To Win an Election

Say you're a seasoned politician. Democrat, Republican, it doesn't matter. You've made a career out of being an elected official and all the benefits that come with it. You know the playing fields, who to use and who to avoid, how to get what you want when you want it. You don't care much for new players in the game because they often are full of “ideals” and plans for “change.” You make sure they either play along with you or get squashed trying to do otherwise.

Then along comes a politician who seems, well... different. He doesn't want to play your game or the games any of your political friend's. He's not out to bilk the system for personal gains or even to further the cause of a corporation or two. He's truly out to help people other than himself.

He's Fighting for The Little Guy.

This irks you, but you've seen plenty of Kennedy wannabes in your day and figure he won't get far.

Instead, he wins.

BIG.

The Oval Office, Secret Service, Air Force One, the whole megillah.

Doesn't matter if he has great ideas or not, you know from years of experience that this...shouldn't...BE.

But the crowds love him.
His speeches make love to the English language.
His charisma is beyond reproach.

Inwardly and outwardly, you seethe. How to break him down, leave him to the dogs?



Simple: you do nothing.



Or, more specifically, you do nothing to help him. If he presents the Next Great Idea, you loudly shout it down as idiocy. If ninety nine out of a hundred economists love his financial plans, you find the one who doesn't and parade him around to every talk show that will give you air time. When he's good on foreign policy, deride his lack of focus on the nation's economy. When he builds the economy, complain how foreign relations are suffering. For every idea he presents, for every bill he endorses, you find ways to turn it inside out and use it against him. The truth is what you and the media make it: stretch it, twist it, bend it to your will and send it off to the masses. It doesn't matter if you're right or wrong, just keep stonewalling and waiting.

Waiting for the chink in the armor.

Maybe his foreign policy didn't pan out. Maybe the economy didn't pick up as fast as predicted. Maybe a tiny portion of his Next Great Idea isn't all that great in practice. You've already had a hand in jamming the gears of any progress, now you strike at the lack of said progress. Point out the flaw, any flaw, scream from every media point at this Outrage and How You Can Do Better. Keep at it, because the Great Secret of America is this:



We're really fucking lazy.



We don't want to check that facts really are facts, that's what news stations are for. However, news stations, from the major networks to the lowliest of local teams, are in it for the ratings. They don't give a rat's ass if you believe them or not, they only care that you're sitting down to watch them. They'll lie just as much (if not more) than the politicians because it brings in viewers.

That's what makes this work. The longer you hammer home how bad a few parts of the Great Idea are (while overlooking any successes gained from it), the more people will believe you and join in your Outrage. Keep pounding this central idea home, then wait for the elections.

If you did your job right, political support for the Great Idea will falter. Politicians will gladly support you and your Outrage and get elected into office. The balance of power will shift back towards your side of the field. You'll happily crow about how he's “out of touch” and “can't make it work”, all the while knowing you were the one holding back any chance for real change.

But your salary is intact, your benefits (legal or otherwise) are still coming your way and you can appease your constituents with the idea that you've actually gone and done something good for them.

Once again, you've saved the day.



Although not for anyone except yourself.

King Louie's

Words fail me to describe this hamburger sandwich and the place I had it at. Louis' Lunch has been around New Haven, CT since 1898 and this is about the only thing they make (there's a tuna sandwich on Fridays, but I'm guessing it's not their biggest seller). Don't think a burger joint the size of a tool shed can make a simple burger and be around for 112 years? Guess again. If I only was allowed to eat red meat once a year, this would be my annual pilgrimage to Mecca. No need for cheese, onions, lettuce, tomato or ketchup (sauces are banned at Louis', only those four toppings mentioned are worthy of consideration). Just an excellent blend of ground meats, grills dating back to the Civil War, and some toasted white bread. Pure heaven.

Bar Mirror, Part Deux

The only word I can find to describe the recent weather is "oppressive." Most lawns and many plants have shriveled to brown crunchiness without regular watering. Rain is something we've only read about in other parts of the world.

Anyhoo, on with the bar mirror. I determined that the three hooks are actually brass plated steel. The third one (the painted one that soaked overnight in stripper and came out laughing) would only come clean after a few minutes under a wire wheel and then was all bright and shiny, definitely not brass. It's the one in the middle for those following along.



On to Plan B.



Attach to scrap plywood with scrap screws and...



I wanted to used a hammered black instead of gloss black (gives it a nice "blacksmithed" feel to the pegs) but my only can of hammered just sputtered out and died as I went to use it. I'll have to see what else I have around in the way of paint.

At least this weather is good for one thing: these babies dry extremely well. Wonder what other paint-ready projects I can conjure up while this weather is pummeling us...

Long Overdue

There's been a lot going on of late, much of it personal in nature. Suffice it to say life's been rough these past few months; the proverbial other shoe has dropped and I'm waiting for a third shoe to land on my head (rumor has it it's going to be a Doc Marten). But we're not all about doom and gloom here in Zombieville, no sirree. So let's see what the head nutcase has been up to these days.



Plucked from the renter's trash next door. The center section held some gawdawful Winnie the Pooh wallpaper border, which I quickly plucked out (the scraps are in the bottom of the shot). My goal is to transform this into a bar mirror using only things I have around the house or can scam for free. A quick rummage through the parts bins uncovered these:



I've got the painted one soaking in some citrus stripper in the hopes I can remove the paint and not the patina. The only other item I need is a mirror, which I'm hoping to locate in someone's trash really soon. I'll post again once it's complete.

 

Behold my latest acquisition! Soon to be seen at my tenth Polar Bear Plunge!